These poems were typed in from an old book dated 1970 – 71 on December 26, 1993 and re-edited a little bit for blatant typos only during June 2014. They are still a bit raw but I’ve kept them like this because it’s a link back to when I was a teenager and it would be a bit of an imposition to edit them from the perspective of a 62 year old man.
Notes: I used the pen name Del Brennan at that time. From Del – a shortened form of Derek and Brennan – my mother’s maiden name.
In a mood of passiveness
My wretched mind it takes a rest
Finding lots of happiness
In a whirl of nothingness
This phase it is a starting
And my mind is clean and sparkling
Ready for embarking
On a cruise that will be startling
I have seen a light tonight
Like I’ve done before
I have been so tight tonight
My mind could take no more
After weeks of wondering why
Where was it going to
I’ve finally seen that life’s no lie
I know what I will do
This my friends as all are one
Is calm after the storm
This journey’s been an arduous one
It’s lasted so very long
Now I’ve found an answer to this query
I’ve stored it in my mind
One day I’ll make a fancy dictionary
And leave perplexion far behind
There’s lots more questions to be answered
And lots more lights for me to see
I’ll answer these and then I’ll take my chances
And will I then at last be free?
Del Brennan June 28, 1970 ?
I find it amusing that despite being only 18 years old when I wrote that poem I said “This journey’s been an arduous one / It’s lasted so very long”. But I think I know what I was getting at. At that time I felt like an old soul, connected to many past lifetimes. I was a being who existed in the eternity of time and space and had always been alive in one form or another, always been aware that I was/am a living, breathing creature absorbing the universe through my senses, being alone and yet being at one with everything and everyone.
The lines “I have seen a light tonight / like I’ve done before” refer to the same kind of idea, of rediscovering the ‘Light’ perhaps for the first time in this particular lifetime, but possibly also refer to the light I remember seeing with my friend Stuart, when we were both tripping on acid, or at least stoned (remember, this was a long time ago so forgive the fuzziness). We were sitting in someone’s bedroom and we’d nicked a warning light from some roadworks – I think it was a round orange light the size of a discus. We were staring into it and felt like we were travelling along a sort of tunnel towards a brilliant white light. We got absorbed into the light and believed we’d literally ‘seen the light’. But probably we were just too stoned.
All the time
Casting a line
Tomorrow, Today and Tonight
Wasting my time Casting my line
Cos the fish for me don’t bite
Gotta keep in with the fight
I guess this poem is simply about being frustrated at failing to achieve something but then realising that you have to keep on trying anyway. I grew up with my father being a very successful sea angler. When I was younger I used to get up in the middle of the night sometimes and walk a few miles with him to dig up lugworm, and fish for bass, flatfish and conger eels in the Loughor Estuary near Machynys, Llanelli. I was never as successful as my father was at catching fish, but by then the times and the tides were changing and there weren’t so many fish about anyway.