Live Writing – This is it

This is a piece of what I call ‘Live Writing’

It was typed directly into a Word document on Wednesday November 4th 2015 at 9:45 am. The document is laid out exactly as it will appear in the final book.

The book is called ‘This is it’ and it’s a kind of fantasy/autobiography type thing. It’s just something I’m working on as a side project – but it’s already grown to around 92,000 words.


I’ll probably regret it but this piece is completely unedited.

According to an article on The Guardian website there is some guy who’s trying to sort out the inconsistencies between quantum mechanics and the theory of relativity. If I understand the article correctly, part of what he’s trying to prove is that the universe is composed of discreet chunks of something indivisible and does not go on forever either out to space or in to the sub-atomic level.

Who knows, it may be true, but if it is . . . well, it just can’t be, can it? I mean even to me, who is definitely not a scientist, it’s obvious – there is no beginning and there is no end, in a space or a time sense.

Sometimes I think that some sort of God is playing tricks on me; for example when we bought Pulse Wholefoods in 2007 and remortgaged ourselves to the hilt to do so, there was an undoubted bounce in the economic air, and a big move towards organic wholefoods too – we couldn’t lose, and we didn’t; that year, well 9 months of it anyway, was brilliant. We increased the turnover and the profit margins, we had a great new life at the heart of Cardiff’s professional creative community – if there is such a thing, and we made loads of new friends.

Then – boom bust. The global economy crashed and directly affected us big time.

And now, as I’m writing this book which refers constantly to parallel universes, quantum mechanics, chaos theory and suchlike, those very concepts are being challenged, thus rendering my witterings as a pile of bollocks.

The idea I get is that since I can only experience the universe (or whatever it is) through my own senses, and since I can only interpret it with my own mind then in some way everything in the world – that I’m aware of at least, is unique to me personally. That is, the financial crash happened because inherent in me is some perversity that creates global financial meltdowns just to piss myself off – similarly with the quantum relativity thing.

I’m probably going mad, though I don’t feel mad in any way. Hmm, maybe that’s a sign, if you feel normal then you must be mad, because what the hell is normal about this existence? It’s completely bonkers, whether you look inside or outside.

But hey, just chill, and remember to breathe.


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