Christmas coming fast

Saturday-Bloody-Morning
Christmas coming fast
Should have been here Tuesday
Wednesday, Thursday night perhaps

The world has got a problem
Only one? I hear you ask
Well one that’s really pissed me off
That awful shopping task

We all come down together
to fill our metal guts
With putrefying blood and bones
and other awful stuff

The charity collectors
jangle at the doors
Piss off you pious bastards
I won’t give you any more

The dreaded day comes round again
We gorge until we’re numb
Forgive the sodding year that’s gone
and curse the one to come

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An ordinary bloke writes about ‘Lessons you learn’

An ordinary bloke writes about ‘Lessons you learn’

I was standing in the queue at Iceland, the frozen food store, yesterday. I was clutching a modestly-sized bag (700g) of McCain’s skin-on fries. We were having a dirty burger night and it was the last item on the shopping list. I’d already bought the Linda McCartney chunky vegan ‘meaty’ quarter pounders (from the big Tesco), 4 crusty white rolls from Brutons the bakers, a small tray of mushrooms from the Co-op, a bag of ‘washed and ready to use’, salad leaves from the small local Tesco, and a block of Violife vegan mozzarella ‘cheese’ from Beanfreaks, the health food shop.

At home already were the seasonings and additives, like a litre of rapeseed oil (from the Co-op), a large squeezy bottle of Tesco mid-range own-brand tomato ketchup, a bottle of Biona cider vinegar (with the mother – Beanfreaks), a tub of Saxa finely-ground sea-salt (small Tesco) and a jar of gorgeous home-made mayo, whizzed up from a block of silken tofu, a cup and a half of own-brand rapeseed oil, half a teaspoon of said salt, the freshly-squeezed juice of a lemon, and a couple of tablespoons of co-op brand Dijon mustard.

Anyway the point is that there was a woman behind me in the queue. She was quite young, probably late twenties, though it is difficult to be precise because she wasn’t in good shape, I mean, for example, she was quite short, just over five feet I’d say, and she was very obese, huge in fact, by any method of measuring. The trunk of her body was a large ball, like one of those orange bouncy things from the seventies that had evolved to an adult size.

She was wheezing and moaning out loud about how long she’d been waiting in the queue. I thought, at first that she was trying to garner my sympathy so that I would let her go first, but she had a large trolley full of the sort of cheap frozen stuff they sell in Iceland, like hot and spicy chicken in breadcrumbs or bags of 22 skinless pork sausages, and I had just one moderately-sized packet of skin-on fries and I had the correct money ready (£1.50), so I decided not to be chivalrous and duly ignored her.

She turned her attention to the person behind her in the queue and said: “They are a real bargain and only 50p each. I turned involuntarily to look at the conveyor belt to see what it was that was such a bargain. There were six 250 gram packets of full-fat butter making their way along the belt, at the beginning of their journey to her already engorged tummy.

I shook my head inwardly, judging her to be a sloppy, lazy, dullard, who if only she stopped eating dirty rubbish like butter, would lose weight, become much fitter and happier, and would not be metaphorically bouncing with joy just because she’d managed to contribute to her undoubtedly early death for such a bargain price.

It took a while, in fact it was tonight, more than 24 hours later, for me to realise how utterly crass and judgemental I’d been, if only in my own head, especially since I am going on for 4 stone overweight myself, and at least half the food I eat is not at all essential to my survival or good health.

So now I’m thinking :-

Nothing is worthless
Everything has a value
No one deserves disrespect
Everyone deserves respect
Everyone is unique and beautiful
Everyone hurts – it’s far better to behave in a way that ameliorates that hurt than in a way that exacerbates it
blah
blah

So, today’s lesson is that what you learn from teachers who don’t even know they’re teaching can sometimes be the best lessons of all.

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potpotmush

An accidental recipe

cut potatoes and sweet potatoes into chip shapes and deep fry in plenty of oil until soft but not crisp – add some half chopped chestnut mushrooms

wait until it’s obvious that the ‘chips’ are not going to get crusty but are in imminent danger of collapsing into mush

scoop the potpotmush into a frying pan and shallow fry to attempt to make at least some of it crispy

Bloody gorgeous it is and goes well with vegan burgers and green salad

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Tarmac sandwich

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How much fruit and veg is ‘ten a day’

New research has indicated that people should eat 10 portions of fruit and/or vegetables every day if they want to achieve a longer and healthier life.

I wondered what 10 portions would look like so I raided the fridge and fruit bowl and added fruit and veg until it weighed 800 grams, which, according the the NHS, is what 10 portions weigh at 80 grams each.

Prices are based on the costs of the fruit and veg from local supermarkets and greengrocers’ shops, not the cheapest places to buy, not the most expensive either.

Bon Appétit!

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Stacked Vegan Pizza

I fancied making a pizza the other day but was fed up of those pale lacklustre crusts available from supermarkets so decided to make my own dough.

I chose wholemeal bread flour and quick yeast since that’s what was in the cupboard, made the dough and used half of it to make a pizza base, rolling it out into a large rectangle to fit the oven tray. I made a round loaf with the other half of the dough.

Unfortunately the pizza base didn’t rise and then I burnt it in the oven – probably because I’d flattened it too much with the rolling pin and cooked it too quickly.

The bread turned out lovely – and a tasty, if dense, loaf emerged. So I cut that into rounds and used them as pizza bases.

I made far too much topping, stacked it on the rounds of bread and baked it slowly until the cheezly made an attempt at melting.

pizzagIngredients

  • Tamari-marinated taifun tofu fried in olive oil
  • red, green and yellow peppers
  • pimento stuffed green olives
  • artichoke hearts
  • tomato puree
  • onions
  • garlic
  • sliced aubergine
  • birds eye chillis
  • white cheddar cheezly
  • spicy salad leaves from blaencamel farm on Riverside market
  • sliced chestnut mushrooms
  • salt and pepper
  • homemade wholemeal pizza bases bread

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Half-Baked Potatoes

These are golden crisp outside and creamily soft inside.

Cut baking potatoes in half along the length so that you have two flattish halves

anoint with veg oil and sprinkle with seasalt.

Place the potato halves flat side down onto a baking tray, cut a little cross in the top bulgy bit and bung into a fairly hot oven for about an hour. Turn now and again to ensure they don’t stick and cook evenly.

half-baked-rs

half-baked-rs1

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Sweet Potato and Aubergine curry

Last night’s meal.

ø;

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 large sweet potato – diced into medium cubes
  • 1 aubergine – diced into medium cubes
  • 1 onion – sliced thinly
  • 5 cloves garlic – crushed
  • 1 strong chili – chopped finely *
  • 1″ ginger root – chopped/crushed *
  • 2 tablespoons ground coriander *
  • 2 teaspoons ground cumin *
  • 2 teaspoons ground turmeric *
  • cup of frozen peas
  • 2 cups tomatoes – passata, or tomato puree + water, or tin of tomatoes, or fresh
  • vegetable oil
  • salt

(substitute everything marked with * with your favourite curry powder if you prefer)

METHOD

  • Saute the onions, garlic, ginger, chilli, aubergine, and sweet potato until the aubergine and sweet potato are almost cooked
  • Add the coriander, cumin, turmeric, (or the curry powder) – and salt
  • stir over the heat for a few seconds
  • Add the tomato in whatever form you are using, the frozen peas, and water if necessary
  • bring to boil and then simmer for 10 minutes or so until everything is cooked and the oil begins to separate

Serve with roti/chapati or rice

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Vegan burgers and the Con club

When I was growing up in Llanelli we always referred to the Conservative club as ‘The Con Club’. There was no malicious intent in this, after all, in those days, the Conservatives, in Llanelli at least, were not even significant enough to be regarded as a sideshow. I have noticed that in Cardiff the Conservative clubs are referred to as ‘Cons Clubs’ and even labelled as such on their signage. I suspect this is because when you add the ‘s’ it sort of dilutes the meaning of ‘con’ which, when you strip away all the bollocks, is what all political parties, and in particular the Conservatives, are – a great big fat con.

cons-clubRiverside ‘Cons’ club – open for business – hmm!

But never mind about all that – I’ve typed the word ‘Conservative’ far too many times for my mental health so I want to turn to the issue of making a decent vegan burger.

This one is pretty good:

Vegan Black Bean and Mushroom Burgers – Gluten Free

We made these last night, I forgot to write down the ingredients so I hope I haven’t forgotten anything

Makes about 6 burgers

  • 2 or 3 cups of cooked black beans – mashed roughly
  • bunch of spring onions (scallions) – sliced thinly
  • 1 chilli – chopped
  • 4 large cloves garlic – crushed
  • 2 tablespoons gram flour
  • 1 tablespoon ground flax / linseed
  • 1 dessert spoon chia seeds (optional)
  • 1 huge mushroom – chopped finely
  • salt
  • pepper
  • tamari
  • some liquid from the beans
  • rapeseed (canola) oil for frying
  • a bit more gram flour for coating

Mix all the ingredients adding salt, pepper and tamari according to your taste – the mixture should be firm but moist

  • Form into burger shapes
  • coat with a little gram flour each side
  • chill before cooking if you like
  • fry on a moderate heat until browned and warmed through

voila!

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Autumn food

My first serious attempt at Rajma – a.k.a. Red Kidney Bean Curry

The basic recipe is drawn from here: – thanks to Ceri for the variations and the live tips 🙂

First the ingredients:

  • 2 cans red kidney beans, drained and rinsed under running water
    2 tbsps vegetable/canola/sunflower cooking oil
    1 tsp cumin seeds
    2 medium-sized onions chopped fine
    2″piece of ginger jullinned
    6 cloves of garlic minced
    2 large tomatoes chopped into 1″ cubes
    2 fresh green chillies chopped fine
    2 tsps coriander powder
    1 tsp cumin powder
    1 tsp garam masala
    1/4 tsp turmeric powder
    Salt to taste
    A pinch of asafetida
    Chopped coriander to garnish

 

rajma-ingredients-res

Due to the aforementioned tips I added another small onion and two more tomatoes

Now the method:

Heat the oil in a deep pan and add the cumin seeds. When they stop sizzling, add the onion and fry till soft.

Add the ginger and garlic and fry for 2 minutes.
Add the green chillies, tomatoes, coriander, cumin, turmeric and garam masala powders and fry till the oil separates from the masala.

rajma-cooking-resAdd the red kidney beans, 3 cups of warm water, asafetida, salt to taste and cook till beans are very soft (approximately 10 minutes). (This took 30 minutes)

rajma-ready-to-rest-resMash some of the beans roughly (this thickens the gravy).
Garnish with coriander and serve with chapatis/roti/wraps

et-voila-rajma-res

Ceri’s variations:

the asafoetida / hing really does make a difference when you do it right. It’s not essential but to perfect it, it’s good. You can use wraps or gluten-free wraps but proper roti is best.

the fresh coriander is pretty key too, but don’t overdo it this can ruin the balance

also don’t skip the three cups of warm water part – it takes ages to reduce but worth it, cooking it early and turning it off for about an hour before reheating slowly makes it a lot better too, it goes into a lush thick sauce,

and even though it says to rinse the beans, save the tin water and use it as part of the three cups of warm water (heated in a separate pan) – also put the hing in the water as it’s heating, also put a very very small amount of finely chopped fresh coriander in the dish as it’s coming towards the end of reducing, and the rest is used as a sort of garnish on the top, put any left over coriander in a bowl to be used by people as they see fit, and freeze any leftovers

put salt in in stages, so a bit about 5 mins into the onions cooking, a bit with the spices and a bit while it’s cooking (you can taste test while cooking to see if it needs more)

all of that, plus turning it off for a bit really helps

Dessert

I also made stewed apples and Victoria plums with turmeric and vanilla soya milk custard

Custard is made with 500ml soya milk, 2 tbs cornflour, a pinch of turmeric, a couple of tablespoons of sugar and a splash of vanilla extract

stewed-apples-and-plums-with-turmeric-vanilla-custard-res

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TLT – Tofu Lettuce and Tomato Sandwich

TLT-Buttie

Today’s lunch: Super tasty – Tofu, Lettuce and Tomato Sandwich

Marinate cubes or strips of tofu in tamari, garlic, chilli and ginger before frying in sesame oil until they start to brown. Add freshly chopped or sliced tomatoes and stir for a minute, adding extra tamari and/or seasoning if it floats your boat.

Pile into two slices of your favourite bread with crisp fresh local lettuce.

The bread in the photo is one of my favourites, the organic granary from Allen’s bakery in Cardiff. It’s always good, but when it’s ultra-fresh it’s dangerously good!

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not been out

I’ve not been out the door today and it’s eleven pm already so it’s not likely to happen. Come to think of it I have been out the door, or doors, both back and front, but only to get the rubbish from the yard and put it out the front seeing as it’s bin day tomorrow.

It was a bit of a faff putting the bins out since it’s black bag / general waste week, and for once we’ve got a quarter bag of unrecyclable rubbish to put out. Trouble is, something’s gone rotten inside the bag because it’s probably been sitting there for a few weeks since we hardly ever have enough black-bag rubbish to put out.

Also, the top of the bag has been left open so it’s half full of stinking fetid rainwater, which could explain the smell that was hanging around the other day. When I lift the bag up, after recovering from the stench released, I notice that the water is not leaking, so I decide the best thing to do is to go out the front, find a drain, and stab a hole in the bottom of the stinking bag with a screwdriver, thus allowing the filthy water it contains to flow away as harmlessly as possible, then I will stuff the broken bag and it’s contents into another black bag, and another, until the smell is buried too deep to detect.

That’s what I did

Besides that I’ve been working most of the day on typesetting and applying the almost final edits to the WSSN book and fiddling about with the cover layout too.

I also made some soup. It was nice – spicy!

soupWhat was left of the Soup

Onions, garlic, ginger, salt, pepper, chillies, red lentils, water, rapeseed oil, potatoes, sweet potatoes, kale, carrots – Clean, chop, chuck in pan, boil, simmer = ready!

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Vegan Beetroot and Black Bean Burgers

Besides being very tasty and nutritious, these are really easy to make and hold together well

Delicious Vegan and Gluten Free burgers

  • 2 medium beetroots grated
  • 1 red onion chopped
  • 1 white onion chopped
  • 3 cloves garlic crushed
  • 1 chilli chopped finely
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • tablespoon dried mixed herbs
  • 3 cups cooked black beans – mashed roughly
  • 4 tablespoons chickpea / gram flour
  • 1 heaped tablespoon ground flax seeds soaked in a quarter cup of water
  • few splashes of cider vinegar
  • sunflower oil for frying

Continue reading

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Home Made Tofu

Home made tofu is amazing – make some today (or tomorrow, because you’re going to need to soak the beans)

Get hold of 250 grams of organic soya beans and some coagulant. A heaped teaspoon of nigari is good but you can use the juice of a lemon or even a tablespoon or two of vinegar at a push. You can of course make more by using multiples of 250 grams, but you will need a very big saucepan if you make a bigger batch.

250 grams of dried beans usually makes about 300 grams of firm tofu Continue reading

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