It’s now normal to take pictures of yourself; no one thinks you’re weird or that you have an ego the size of China if you post a self-taken photograph of yourself on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or wherever; in fact, posting a selfie is a cool way to let the world, or at least your so-called friends and followers, get to know who you are.
So, I present to you the Selfieview – an interview with yourself. Let’s face it, you’re probably not interesting enough to be asked a set of questions about your innermost thoughts and desires, or even your outermost achievements and beliefs. But that’s where the rest of the world has got it wrong, hasn’t it? You are interesting! Of course you are. You are a unique and magical being infused with all the energy in the universe, and besides, you do have things to say about the meaning of life – you may even have the answers.
- You can ask yourself as many questions about as many subjects as you like.
- You can take as long as you like to answer the questions.
- You can write concise bullet points or long paragraphs or in any other way you fancy.
You get the picture – this is a libertarian concept – there are no rules . . . .
but . . . . .
If you want other people to read and respond to your selfieview then there are:-
- Keep the questions simple, short and interesting.
- Ditto with the answers, though try to elaborate enough to make your answer meaningful – in other words no yes/no answers. (Unless they add some comedic value to the selfieview)
- Tell us something we didn’t know
- Tell us something we guessed
- Tell us a secret
The best way for me to illustrate how to conduct a selfieview is to do one myself, so here goes:
Q: Who are you?
A: Ah! That’s a simple and short question, but of course impossible to answer fully. Hmm! OK! I’m a 64 year old man who lives in Wales.
Q: What do you do?
A: I’m a writer and an artist so I write stuff and create artworks. I am also a publisher. I enjoy publishing, especially the freedom it gives me to publish my own work in the way I want. The downside is that unless you get a proper best seller or are blessed with grants and subsidies, being a publisher doesn’t bring in enough cash to justify what you have to do to actually publish books, especially when they’re not your own. To be honest if I could make enough money from writing alone then I’d be happy to leave the publishing to someone else.
Q: What have you published of your own writing, and what is your latest substantial work?
A: Well I have published poetry and short stories and I’ve just published my fourth novel – it’s called ‘Bums’ and it’s the first book in a trilogy featuring Detective Inspector Frank Lee. The next two books in the trilogy are called ‘Beats’ and ‘Bones’. As I write this I’m well into writing Beats and expect to finish the first full draft soonish.
Q: Of all the books you’ve written which is your favourite.
A: That’s easy – my first novel ‘The Three Bears’ is the one I love the most. I’m not sure that many other people look at it with the same affection as I do, but it’s probably about as close to a perfect work of art that my writing will ever get.
Q: What about your visual art, your painting; what’s your favourite piece?
A: Again, an easy one, it’s called ‘Bright Environment’. It’s an abstract I painted in 2002 about a year after I first put brush to canvas. I’ve had offers for it over the years but never enough to tempt me to sell it.
A: Ah! Now I’ve got to be careful here. I’m not sure if these things are covered by a statute of limitations, so I’ll go for an early one. When I was about fifteen I, along with my best friend, Stu, cracked open the gas meter in my parents’ house (where I lived) and stole the handful of silver coins that were locked inside. We tried to make it look like an opportunistic break-in by a passing villain (of which there were many on the estate at that time), but it didn’t take long for my father to suss out what had happened (he was a clever sod). He made some excuse to the Gas board and paid the money back himself. I was so ashamed I never pulled anything like that again (so close to home anyway).
Q: What’s it all about?
A: Simple, it’s all about everything and it’s all about nothing. These questions are too easy – ask me a more difficult one next time.
Q: OK, you asked for it. Are you any good as a writer or as an artist, or are you just a deluded fraud.
A: Ooh. Yes, that is a tough one. The truth is I am both good at what I do, (a genius in fact), and I am also a completely talentless fool. I suppose the true truth falls somewhere in between those extremes – I am on the continuum like everyone else. But, the important thing for me is that I aspire to create work that is true to myself, whether or not it is regarded as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ by anyone else, and that makes me a true artist, which is good – I think?
Anyway, over to you.